Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wednesday

 I've had no desire to run and I won't run just to run... it means more than that to me. I refuse to allow my running to become work.
 I've been spending my days outside in the Autumn drinking in the time with my sons that has been gifted to me. I don't feel time slipping away and I am thankful for that. Oliver (Liv) is one and half yet it seems like I have known him for many years. Ben feels ten to me but he's not even four. I'll be forty next year but I feel like I have lived a hundred years. Then I hold my hand next to my son's and he has no wrinkles and that lets me know that time is moving as it should. I see flashes of memories of myself as a boy and then I look in to my son's eyes and I see myself then and now and I feel all of the years that have passed. It's profoundly happy and sad...

 In 1995 I rode out hurricane Marylin in a small bathroom with two friends, two fifths of whiskey, several bottles of wine and a 1/2 pound of Puerto Rican 'creepy'. I do think that the Red Cross lists this as THE definitive hurricane survival kit...When we stepped out after the storm had passed the song on the radio was Van Morrison's 'Days Like This' (which is on my playlist to the right). That song puts me back on the island.

16 comments:

Dave said...

Dude with stories like that I can understand why you feel like you've lived a hundred years!:) I turn 30 in a few months and I've had similar "flashbacks" of things I've done and different choices I've made. It's amazing to think how many events happen in such a short time and what impact they all have on who you are. I used to think my parents were crazy "partiers" when they'd tell me stories of Woodstock and what the sixties was all about when I was young. Safe to say I've out-done them by a long shot:).

Cheers and cool to see you're not pushing the running!
Enjoy the autum days!
Dave

Deron said...

Jammin out to the tunes in my windowless office. Thanks!

Matt said...

Good prose poem morning, Tim.
Outstanding river (of) running through that head of yours.

I have been saying that about my son for YEARS. People say, "the time just flies by." I look at them like they're stupid or something. He's been around for YEARS. I wonder if it's because I have been so involved or I'm weird.

However, I think this sense that they grow-up so fast (still, I think bullshit) comes from that time when they start to hit 1st, 2nd grade, age 6-7 and then (I think) before you know it they're 9-10, etc. Maybe that's how that works.

But I'm not there yet and I still think Jack has been around for a loooong time. I can't even imagine him 16 or say 20. Ha! You're kidding. He'll be my little old soul monkey forever. . . or not.

Have a killer day, killer.

Rick said...

Time with our kids does seem to go by so fast and anything to make it seem to slow down I'm all for. I think the more memories you have is the only suitable replacement for the illusion that time goes by faster as we get older. I'm reminded every morning that time is moving as it should be when my daughter pulls a chair up to the stove to help me cook breakfast.
Any plans of doing a fun run at race effort this weekend?

Brett said...

Beautiful writing.

Kids are such emotional roller coasters aren't they? I want my kids to see the world, but I want to put them in a box. I want them to grow up faster, and I want them to never grow up.

I seem to recall you've been through these emotional running waves before. I don't remember you back then realizing that these waves happen and you went a lot more emotional back then. Your trails and mountains aren't going anywhere, so its good you seem to be learning more and more about yourself and how to keep it between the guardrails.

Lucho said...

Dave- I took down some of the post... maybe a little too gnarly and I might have the South African police calling me! True story though. 30... you're just a kid man.

Deron- Which songs? The playlist is split in half. The Aretha Franklin song has been a favorite of mine for years.

Thanks as always Matt! I appreciate your thoughts.

Rick- I think the hill climb was canceled but I wouldn't have run it anyway. I used to race for fun but these days I just have no interest unless I have a shot at winning. Maybe that snooty...
Ben is just now pulling the chair up too. Love it.

Brett- I hear you completely on feeling the need to shelter our kids. My mom was amazing and allowed me to do my thing. Of course I was very lucky on many occasions. When I was 19 I bought a one-way ticket to South America (Guyana no less). I've called her at 3:00am with the simple question "do I have insurance for the emergency room?". I will absolutely be sharing these stories with my boys in hopes of teaching them. NOT teaching them to not do these things... but teaching them how to survive. I dropped out of college to travel and never really stopped until Ben was born.. I have a PhD in street smarts.
I have learned not to try to push through times of low motivation. But just as it ebbs... it also flows with equal depth. When I'm set on something I can become extremely focused and I think that's partly due to the fact that I don't run myself in to the ground. I am lifting a ton right now though (I built a squat rack in my shed out back) and it feels awesome to feel strong again. I keep moving my 200 pound logs around simple because I can :)

Dave said...

I want to say this is all awesome. But the most awesome thing might be that you went to Guyana. I know a bit about the situation there back then, so I kinda understand how insane that is.

Also, if you wrote that hurricane saga into a short story, I bet you'd give Hemingway a run for his money (and your writing has always reminded me a bit of him).

Lucho said...

Dave- I cropped the hurricane story by quite a bit. And I was in the islands for 4 years so there are hundreds of awesome stories.
Jonestown was a pretty crazy 'event'. Over 900 people killed themselves and a Congressman was murdered. The old site is still there but it's all overgrown. People tried to restore some of it to preserve the history but they couldn't keep the place from being burned. Ugly, ugly thing.

Deron said...

Hey Tim.... are there guidlines for how you choose the athletes you train? Do you set up programs for the average dude who wants to become an endurance NIGHTMARE!

Lucho said...

Deron- I talk to the athlete on the phone first and usually can feel if they are someone I want to work with. I am at a point now where I have choices so I want to work with motivated and open athletes. I would say that a majority of the athletes I have coached are somewhat new to structured training. I also have plenty of experience working with true beginners.
An 'endurance nightmare' is who I am! So that's my specialty :)

Anonymous said...

our son officially became a teenager today and i can tell you that the sands of time never slow, never stop... but when i look into the eyes of our 3 kids, my mind is unclouded---i can clearly see my husband and i falling in love all over again…the moment our kids were born…every birthday celebration…their first days of school…truly, it is our children who make us immortal. d

GZ said...

Love that the playlist is back.

I often wonder about these cross roads in our lives, like the one you wrote about. Seems to me that often I look back and see that I was lucky or a choice or two away from livin under a bridge ... or worse. I am pretty lucky. This entire thought process drives me a bit crazy because while it means I need to come to terms with my kids being pretty lucky too at some level.

See you Saturday.

Deron said...

Just One Fix - Ministry

I remember this one driving to the local mountain in NH to go snowboarding... during the college days.... long ago.

Lucho said...

Very nicely stated Donna! Happy birthday to your son... a teenager. Wow!

GZ- I'm psyched you'll be able to make it tomorrow!

Deron- Ministry is awesome still! Great hard training background noise.

Trigirlpink said...

Enjoy your man cave. Running will always be there. Love the bench and your new ink! My time and Boulder came and went but I did get to sneak in a coffee with Kerrie and Lucie!
Happy Fall! :-)

Lucho said...

Thanks TGp! Nice that you got to hang with the Wlads!