Basically, I think GZ's comment points out your need for a publicist. And I selflessly volunteer--trust me, I once watched an episode of Mad Men (about 60's advertising). Aside from teaching me how to be excessively misogynistic, the show taught me all about the importance of self-promotion. Combined with my god-given ability to construct metaphors relating to phallic snowfields, we can make you bigger than Dean K by the time you hit Pb.
I'll start---one time, I heard this Lucho guy ordered 4 pizzas to be delivered 20 miles away. Then, when he got there, the delivery woman was waiting. So he took the 4 pizzas, stacked them up, and gave them to a homeless shelter. BECAUSE HE NEEDS NO FOOD. Then, the delivery girl offered herself to him. But no, he's a family man, so he played wingman for the guy that ran the homeless shelter. The two married 2 months later, and Lucho gave the best freaking toast in the history of weddings, in a gazebo that he built with his own hands just for this occasion.
/kinda crappy, but still better written than the Boulder Daily Camera
Holy crap that's hilarious! And yes your knack for constructing metaphors relating to phallic snowfields is quite impressive. Great post yesterday for sure, you could write for a living, but killing panda bears is probably more lucrative (and gratifying). Thanks Dave!
6 comments:
"just"
Ya, sorry. But 4 laps on Walker is also 30 miles but nearly twice the gain. So relatively speaking... 'just'.
Basically, I think GZ's comment points out your need for a publicist. And I selflessly volunteer--trust me, I once watched an episode of Mad Men (about 60's advertising). Aside from teaching me how to be excessively misogynistic, the show taught me all about the importance of self-promotion. Combined with my god-given ability to construct metaphors relating to phallic snowfields, we can make you bigger than Dean K by the time you hit Pb.
I'll start---one time, I heard this Lucho guy ordered 4 pizzas to be delivered 20 miles away. Then, when he got there, the delivery woman was waiting. So he took the 4 pizzas, stacked them up, and gave them to a homeless shelter. BECAUSE HE NEEDS NO FOOD. Then, the delivery girl offered herself to him. But no, he's a family man, so he played wingman for the guy that ran the homeless shelter. The two married 2 months later, and Lucho gave the best freaking toast in the history of weddings, in a gazebo that he built with his own hands just for this occasion.
/kinda crappy, but still better written than the Boulder Daily Camera
Holy crap that's hilarious! And yes your knack for constructing metaphors relating to phallic snowfields is quite impressive. Great post yesterday for sure, you could write for a living, but killing panda bears is probably more lucrative (and gratifying).
Thanks Dave!
Sick profile at the top of your page. Yikes.
You should see my neighborhood.
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