Sunday, April 24, 2011

Mount Carbon race report redux

After my brief race report yesterday I received this suggestion.

Some questions to help you write a proper race report:

Did you use an alarm clock?
What astounding events happened while driving to the event?
Were your prerace bowel movements any indication of how the race would go?
Who did you speak with prior to the race? Did these conversations influence your state of mind?
At what exact moment did you take the race lead? Did you do it decisively? Why did you choose that moment?
What did you think about on the second climb? Were those the correct thoughts to have at that particular moment?
How many rocks were on the course? If you didn't count, why not? Were they bigger or smaller than you are accustomed?
How many turns? Were there enough/too many? What was the best switchback?
Did you spit during the race?
What did you eat/drink, before, during and after?
It was overcast yesterday, did you wear sunscreen, if so what brand and spf?
Did you raise your arms in victory? Flash a gang sign? Flex? Point to the sky/RD/self?
Will you get a tat in honor of this victory? If not why?
Did you cry?

 Part I.
   I had set my alarm for 1:22am, a superstitious habit indicating what I had hoped to run (I've missed the start of many Ironman races because of this.) I awoke at precisely 1:21:13... this was a good sign (at this point I knew I would win because of the obvious numerology with that time. 1 X 2 + 1 + 1 - 3 = 1st place... I couldn't lose!) I then reached over with my left hand I shut off my alarm. Many thoughts were racing through my brain. First was which foot would I start with? My left or my right foot!? The weather. Would it be too cold? What should I wear? Should I wear a watch and if so should I put it on my left or right wrist? Should I tie my shoes starting the loop over or under? Many things to consider but I knew I would have a 30:00 drive to sort it all out (more on the drive to the race in Part VI). I rolled out of bed and placed my left foot on the floor and it felt good... then my right foot landed (Mid-foot. Not quite flat and not really up on my toes either... more like how the Cavemen would have done it (because they were really really really fast runners)) and it too felt good. My toes were not cold and this was good. Then I stood up and moved my left foot forward, then my right foot. I continued to do this all the way to the kitchen where I proceeded to make coffee. I turned (to my left) and walked across the kitchen and began to prepare my pre-pre-pre-race nutrition (more on the pre-pre-race and pre-race nutrition in Part III) I then went to bathroom (Parts II, IIII, VII, VIII, VIIII and XX will also cover my bowl and urinary eliminations in greater detail.)

 Part II coming soon!

15 comments:

Dave said...

BEST. POST. EVER.

Lucho said...

Thanks man. If I could write (and run) as well as you I would write race reports.

Dave said...

x2 on the best post ever! I literally laughed out loud and almost pissed myself...maybe I should put a report about that on my blog! Thanks for the inspiration!
Loved the caveman reference!

Footfeathers said...

I like lengthy reports written by folks who are able to write well, meaning they can use few words and expand the moment. Most reports are boring lists of dull details, as you adroitly point out. Some have the ability to make you feel like you're there in the race yourself.

Trouble is that most poor writers (99.5% of people) don't realize their limitations and blather on ad nauseum.

You should give some time to your race reports. People learn from them and would enjoy them. And think how nice it'll be for your boys to read about their old man back when he was fast!

wende said...

ha...that's pretty good Tim--I can't wait for part II!!

Michelle Simmons said...

OMG I spit my coffee right out on my keyboard. Ha!

Now that I know you are in a good mood I'll fill out the TP notes re: my long run today. Don't get mad.

Paul said...

Please hurry with the remaining parts! I'm on pins and needles awaiting the outcome of BM #2.....(pun intended)

Lucho said...

Tim- I agree completely. Of that 99.5% of terrible writers I make up about 70% of them. Part of my problem is that not only am I a terrible writer but I don't remember my races, like I wasn't there. Of Leadville I remember maybe 2 hours max of the entire race. If I tried to write in detail of Saturday's race it would be lame and short.

Brandon Fuller said...

Please indicate your wiping methods. This is a major interest of mine. Scientifically, of course.

Anonymous said...

post is definitely bust-a-gut worthy. i don't know why i haven't been reading your blog daily of late.
ds

Lucho said...

Brandon- I am never without 'trail money'... or TP to the layman. Rocks are good. I read you used a pine cone before? I ain't that tough.

DS- I don't think I write daily visit worthy posts. Just once in a while. Thanks for visiting though! How are you?

Jenni said...

Effing Classic Lucho!! Laughed so goddamn hard. ah- I miss you man. Always thinking of the good ol days. (Jeff- thru Jenni's account)

Anonymous said...

tim - i think you you got your ability to write (bullshit) from me. your sarcasm is a gift!!!!

mom

Lucho said...

Thanks Mom! Sarcasm is my thing for sure.
X

Boz said...
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